1. They are not what I thought they would be.
2. They were a bad decision.
3. They will always make me feel ugly and worthless.
Indeed these thoughts are jarring. But when I write these words down, I see that they are not necessarily attached to my hair. I have been having these feelings about my life in general. I am going through a rough patch in my life related to relationships: romantic, friendships, and family. It's a long, complicated story that I will not narrate. But basically:
1. My life is not what I thought it would be
2. I feel I have made bad decisions, and
3. I feel low self-esteem. Just like the feelings I am directing at my dreadlocks.
This is the point where I reflect on dreadlocks and say the following:
1. Of course they are not what I thought they would be. We can never exactly control the future or control the exact details of our lives. I need to accept that sometimes, things will not turn out exactly as I expect. And that's okay.
2. I KNOW my dreadlocks were not a bad decision because I have learned a lot about myself through dreadlocks. So whether I keep them or lose them, I need to accept the decision I made as a good decision and quit feeling regret.
3. Dreadlocks were my way of defining my own worth. I did not want to be valued by beauty norms. When I got dreadlocks, I valued myself enough to be proud of myself even though my hair was a crazy mess and I looked strange.
All these thoughts can be applied to my current, stressful life situation.
1. My life is not what I thought it would be. But that is okay. It is time to move forward.
2. My past choices were not necessarily bad decisions. I learned a lot from them. It is time to accept them, reject regret, and move forward.
3. Chaotic life situations do not define my worth. I define my value with the help of my guiding Higher Power. I will not let chaos and disappointing situations let me feel worthless.
I hope these thoughts help others realize that sometimes our judgements of our appearances may be stemming from a deeper place of discontent. Looking at these two pieces together has helped me reevaluate my place in life and come to a more peaceful place.
Much love to the rest of you.
<3